Funny boat stories

K1W1,

Quick question.

Did you used to go on Sav when she was run by Steve the Aussie? We used to have little parties on board too. (Wheelie bin full of Oz down the hill in Monaco, Police reception commitee at the bottom of the raceway).

Done a few 'Funny Boat' charters in my time, lips very much sealed.

Hi,

I was wondering what had become of him just a week or so back after Monaco.

The boat always had a reputation for being run a little differently to put it mildly.

If you have spent a few boozy nights aboard you will know why.

For $10,000 a night I'd expect more than just clean towels in my room. To prove prostitution I'd think they'd have to prove how much went for the party & room and how much for the girls. Sounds to me like the girls were just thrown in like top shelf liquor. It also sounds like the right person wasn't invited to (or was thrown out of) the party. Besides, without the girls, that knocking noise would probably be guests chipping away at that staircase.

This happened when these guys were in their teens...

Two guys want to go out and water ski, but they don't have an observer, so they put a mirror on to be legal and go at it. The owner of the boat is skiing and his friend is driving. Freddy (the owner) starts waving and gesticulating like crazy. Don (the guy driving and looking over his shoulder at Freddy and isn't used to using a mirror) waves back and keeps looking over his shoulder at his skier.... I think you can figure where this is going....

According to Freddy, the look on Don's face suddenly changed from a smile to a priceless look of shock when the boat ran up on the beach at full tilt. Fortunately it was on some grass around the lake and at a particularly gentle beach at that spot, so no damage was done, but since the beach was very gentle and the grass acted like a bearing, the boat went a LOOOOOOONG way up on land. The two guys struggled for over two hours to get the boat back to the water.....

I also had a mirror in my little boat as a teenager and was towing water skiers all the time. The scratch you can see in the paint is from one of these events.

Normally when the skier was not so experienced I left them off by passing the jetty and slowed down so they could get close enough. But with the more experienced I was driving straight in towards land alongside the jetty. This time I was coming a little too close in the last seconds...

Bachelorette Party

This past summer I worked on a 6-pack sailboat doing 90 minute and 2 hour cruises around Portland (OR). I have lots of time on sailboats but little documented so this was a good way to build up my sea time for the endorsement. My boss, who doesn't work on Saturday's due to his religious observances, asked if I'd do a cruise for a Bachelorette Party. Uh...sure boss, whatever you need.

I loaded the lovelies up and gave the safety briefing and got off the dock. They were enjoying champagne and chat while I did my tour guide bit (all the while trying to keep my eyes on the water and off the ladies). Then they started the party games.

The first, and the subject of this story, could best be titled "who gave you the panties." A bag full of lacy undies was handed to the bride and one at a time she had to guess which of her wedding party gave her which one. On the first pass she got just one correct and for an indelicate reason: they weren't exactly new. Clean, but definitely used and they came from her best friend and maid of honor. Of course, she didn't want them, but the idea of displaying them for the public met with a resounding "please captain...please!"

Being a good host and wanting my guests to fully enjoy their trip I naturally said, "no problem" and hoisted the dainty item using the spinnaker halyard. But I forgot to loop them with the bitter end. Problem. The boss was a good sport about it when I had to haul him up the mast the next morning (my being about 70# heavier than him made it a no brainer) but as he came down and handed me the panties he simply said: hope it was worth it.

For great tips and a good story? You betcha.

Nice! I could of put my hand up for the strip.... errr, barman position

Far

Women in a bunch can get scary That looks like a cougar party. Wonder if this groom to be is a YF lurker.

GO COUGARS!

Not a big boat story but

When I got my Bayliner Trophy (I know it is just a small thing) The Wife and I took it for a spin in a local lake. A friend had shown up with his boat so we spent the afternoon chasing each other around the lake.

Sometime during the day my friend and his wife got into one of thier heated arguments which ended when he beached his boat and stormed off to get the truck.

I looked at the wife and told her I was headed for the dock. As I pulled close to the dock (both wind and dock to the portside) I was easing up to it. Around 10 feet from the dock the wife (whom I love dearly and refer to as the Almighty Midget, she is 5 foot and I am 6' 2") stepped over the bow rail with one leg. At 6 feet from the dock she leaped.

Now understand, this is Alaska where in the middle of summer the waters are in the low low 50's and the wife couldn't leap 6 feet to save her life.

I am sitting there at the helm, looking at the front of the boat wondering where the hell my wife just went. I didn't see a splash, I didn't see her on the dock, but I sure as hell heard her cussing.

Next thing I know I see her pulling herself along the dock to shore.

I felt bad, there was nothing I could have done except maybe not allow her on the bow (she actually knew better and even admits she didn't know what the heck she was thinking). Besides I was laughing too hard. So were all the people eating at the resort on the shoreline, as was my friend and his wife.

And yes she was wearing her pfd.

Becalmed with 10-15 other boats...

When I was a young “buck” of 25 years old, I lived in Playa del Rey (L.A./S. Cal) and had a CAL 25 sailboat over in Marina del Rey. One weekend I had a date to going sailing with a cute “hotie”. I had made some sandwiches, snacks, and included a bottle of my favorite wine for our date. We sailed out of Marina del Rey with a light breeze towards King Harbor to the south. We were about a mile off shore of Manhattan Beach when we were totally becalmed. The sea was like a sheet of glass, and not a breath of wind. We took this opportunity to have our lunch and a couple of glasses of wine. One thing led to another, and before long we were below deck bouncing around in the forward bunk. The sails must have been flapping around more than usual in the glass-smooth water because I could hear the halyards slapping the aluminum mast. My girlfriend was quite vocal as she enjoyed our time in the forward berth. After awhile she said she thought she heard voices. I assured her that we were more than a mile offshore and that she couldn’t be hearing voices. A few minutes later I thought I heard voices! We both stuck our heads out the companionway, and there to our surprise was a fleet of 10 -15 one-design sailboats racing toward Marina del Rey surrounding our boat becalmed as we were. We received a standing ovation, cheers and whistles from the crowd of sailors surrounding our sailboat. After taking a couple of bows and putting our clothes back on, we motored on our way with more applauds and cheering!

hahahaha! DandiDon, welcome, and what a great first post

On the smaller boats I find 'bumping uglies' better above deck for this reason... you can see whos around

Far

You're looking around?

I was trying to, I was trying to drive the boat aswell , and to add to the extra excitment, the hydraulic steering was pretty shot... talk about a few distractions. I ended up driving around the wrong island, which I noticed a jetty was ment to be on my starboard, and not my port

Far