Final Ft. Lauderdale Cruise of 2011 - YF Crew Banter & Bash

Tom: When the folks from Wheels want to go fishing, they head across the canal to the big Merritt sportfish, "Reel Wheels". Have at it, boys.

Loren: And, no sense in roughing it...
You can charter this 80-footer as a day-fisher and then retire to the 164 for a more lavish overnight experience--both for only $200K per week + expenses.

Tom: When I first glanced at M/Y Nicky D's, I thought it said Micky D's, and for a fleeting moment I thought to myself "Self, billions and billions of burgers served can buy you a lot of Italian yacht". But alas, upon closer look I was corrected. Now I'm wondering if it has to do with doubles.

Carl: Sounds like a bar on South Beach. Perfect boat for the bar-hopping, see and be seen crowd clamoring for your eyes to fall upon them while they bathe in the belief they look fabulous.

Loren: Tom, you might be close...there is a 'Nicky D's' in Crowley, Texas renowned for their 'burgers...but given the non-Texan cutesie-pie transom script, I'll join with Carl.

Tom: After looking at large yachts, this 31-foot Game Fisherman looked so small. But Timicana looks to be a hard-charging fishing machine.

Carl: TOO much tower on this tuna tamer.

Judy: VCB (Vertical Centre of Buoyancy): the vertical distance from a point of reference, frequently the Baseline, to the centre of the displaced volume of water when the hull is at rest.

Loren: I'll bet she raises fish.

Tom: Well, the crew had some fun when we came across this Carolina-built sportfish, Seriola, as it's a play on my last name. So go ahead, have your fun once again. I can take it. For you educated members, a Seriola is a genus of bony fish commonly known as amberjack (thanks Wikipedia).

Carl: Seriola is the saga of a hard working, disaster management expert who is employed by the world's largest wireless company and travels so much, he essentially lives out of a suitcase! At home, he manages another form of disaster known as teenage kids. Somewhere in between all this chaos, he squeezes the trigger on a Nikon and manages to capture elements in yachting that everyone else overlooked. That's Tom Serio(la). And when he wears his YF shirt, we're proud to call him our official photographer. The rest of the time, we call him our friend.

Judy: We already went through the cereal-granola jokes, so let's move on to new news. Tom, I never knew you were disaster management - explains a lot: it Dawned on me why you and Carl are buddies. Seriolasly, you took some phenomenal shots - and photos too!

Loren: Judy, this was the biggest laugh of the day. But, anyway, who names their 47 Davis after a fish known to cause ciguatera poisoning?

Tom: After that last post, I don't want to say anything about the crew. Carl?

Carl: We found our mascot!

Judy: We're somewhere between Grand and Motley, eh?

Loren: It does fit. This was the ex-Bon Vivant as viewed by us bons vivants.

Tom: Maybe they're prepping her for a paint job... outside?

Carl: An experiment gone wrong for 3M's two-week masking tape?

Judy: Maybe this was the remnants of their Christmas decorations?

Loren: I'll wager that there's a clapped-out, 1986 puke yellow Yugo in the garage.

Tom: I love the name on this Tiara. I can hear it now "Sorry Carl, can't do a review. I'm in a meeting".

Carl: By name alone, it's an instant write off.

Judy: And his other boat says "On Vacation."

Loren: Are you guys suggesting the owner is a political figure?

Tom: No Loren, then it would say "Monkey Business".

Tom: Hey Judy, I googled Avante V with the name of the person you think owns/owned her. Nothing came up for hizzoner.

Judy: Avante V was in North Cove Harbor when the WTC towers fell. Evidently the captain got some one-of-a-kind shots.

Loren: She is the old Emerald K, built in 1974. Dennis Conner used her for his flagship with his Stars and Stripes America's Cup campaign in NZ. And, seeing how much foreign language edification we are providing in this thread, 'avante' is Portuguese for 'move forward'.

Tom: M/Y Makira prompted a discussion on if you like colored sat domes. As long as it matches the yacht, sure (even the red ones on the Lazzara M/Y Sexy).

Carl: My concern about black domes would be overheating the electronics. And being mistaken for a Disney character!

Chuck: Makira is an island in the Solomons. Much like this express, an island to itself.

Loren: I side with Carl--the sat domes should match the two orange life rings to emphasize non-trendiness.

Tom: WOW! A spoiler on a sailboat.

Carl: Gets my vote for aerodynamic optimist of the year!

Chuck: What a lovely shade of aluminum paint!

Judy: A diving board for the kids?

Loren: Best boat to park at Publix without having to worry about door dings.

Tom: Nothing like having your QR code on the transom. This is for the expedition/learning sailing yacht Pangaea. I'm sure the QR code points you to mikehorn.com.

Carl: This guy is a one man promotional band. About the only sponsor needed now is Alexseal!

Judy: The plastic deck furniture doesn't seem to be in keeping with eco, or anything for that matter.

Loren: From the You Can't Make This Stuff Up Department: if this 115-footer looks like a floating garbage truck, that's because.....it is. She's designed to pick up all the junk floating around in the world's oceans--plastics, fishline, shoes, you name it. Mike Horn, the owner, opted not to paint the tr-, er, vessel, to save a ton of nasty gas emissions. He is serious and this boat has been places.

Tom: Forget about the piracy overseas, we have our own form right here in Ft Laud. The pirate Bluefoot (distant cousin to Blackbeard and with a heavy case of gout) takes sea wenches and their offspring to far off reaches (or the local docks) and plunders their valuables (at least until the fee is paid).

Loren: Unless ye has ta be a real swashbuckler, me bucko, at twenty five pieces of silver per head for an hour's ride, there's always the Water Taxi.

Tom: But alas, we see from her backside that Bluefoot is powered not by wind but by a pair of Honda outboards. Shiver me timbers.

Carl: No respectable pirate uses Hondas. Mischief mandates Mercs!

Loren: A faux pirate ship, up on plane, on the ICW: I'd pay to see that.

Carl: Definition of an Expedition; a small freighter for precious cargo... your friends!

Judy: Maybe time to take a Hike, eh?

Loren: On the market for almost three years at $20M. Tough sell.

Tom: This is M/Y Never Enough. Perhaps owned by a woman? (I look forward to your cards and letters)

Carl: I'm, not touching that one! In this case, 'Never Enough' stands for how many names a boat can accumulate over the years. This funky looking Feadship was previously named Kismet. Before that, it was in Jim *****'s stable. She's an ex-Gallant Lady.

Judy: I'm still a Gallant Lady.

Loren: It's because "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" wouldn't fit the name boards.

Tom: Looks like Echo tried to go under the same bridge we tried earlier.

Carl: It's hard to believe a boat designed by Bannenberg would qualify for the Rogues thread, but she's looking better than ever. The flag blue hull has given way to a chic, new millennium color and it could be the sun's reflection, but the windows appear to be tinted bronze to offset the hull. Originally built by Oceanfast, this is the old 'Christina' (when it had a blue hull) and 'Beeliever' (when it had a white hull).

Loren: Originally commissioned by a height-challenged person.

Tom: Maybe not a yacht by our standards but I'm sure this Blackfin is a fine yacht in its owner's eyes.

Carl: Fast becoming classic glass.

Loren: Built like brick you-know-whats and a classic story as to why you shouldn't p!ss off your creditors.

Tom: Lots of yachts with the big "H" on the side. I'm sure there's more to come, so let's re-Joyce.

Loren: Did Mike slip you a twenty, Tom?

Tom: Hey, I don't come cheap. More like $40.

Tom: I always find it funny to see sailboats with gas cans.

Carl: I'm amazed that any man can talk a woman into sharing liveaboard quarters that tight.

Tom: A couple of the local workers hamming it up for the YF camera.

Carl: Brothers on a boat!

Chuck: Good to see some color on that canvas!

Judy: Don't worry, be happy!

Loren: These two are never going to die from a heart attack.