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Boat Jokes...

Discussion in 'Popular Yacht Topics' started by YachtForums, Jan 12, 2004.

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  1. JWY, Mar 3, 2020
    #401
    JWY

    JWY Senior Member

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    It's been over a year since this thread has created chuckles, so here goes:

    Q: Why are seagulls called seagulls?
    A: Because they fly over the sea. If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

    :D
  2. Capt Ralph, Mar 16, 2020
    #402
    Capt Ralph

    Capt Ralph Senior Member

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    E0F03CE6-8FE4-4623-B967-976F0FDEEA3B.jpg
  3. Fishtigua, Mar 16, 2020
    #403
    Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    After all the toilet paper has been hoarded, I've been reduced to using a Lettuce leaf in an emergency.

    I feel this is just the tip of the Iceberg.
  4. Fishtigua, Mar 17, 2020
    #404
    Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    A friend on a German yacht tells me everyone is panic buying sausages and cheese.
    They’re looking at a Wurst Käse scenario.
    Norseman likes this.
  5. Capt Ralph, Mar 23, 2020
    #405
    Capt Ralph

    Capt Ralph Senior Member

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    tv.jpg
  6. Norseman, Mar 23, 2020
    #406
    Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    E4836C18-04E7-4473-B41D-C1AD06E8B4D1.jpeg
  7. Jorge Lang, Mar 24, 2020
    #407
    Jorge Lang

    Jorge Lang Senior Member

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    Now you got me going.
    lettuce.jpg
  8. Kevin, Mar 30, 2020
    #408
    Kevin

    Kevin YF Moderator

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    Did you hear about the yacht builder that had to work from home?

    His sails went through the roof.
    YachtForums likes this.
  9. Boatbuilder, Apr 8, 2020
    #409
    Boatbuilder

    Boatbuilder Member

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    Dr. Fauci, the Pope, Hilary Clinton, Donald Trump, and a 10 year old girl were the only passengers on a plane. The captain announces the plane is going down, and they must parachute out.
    Now there are only 4 parachutes for the 5 passengers. Dr. Fauci says “I must jump, I need to find a cure for Covid-19”, and out he goes.
    The Pope says “I must be there to comfort the people in this crisis”, and out he goes.
    Hilary Clinton says “I’m the smartest woman in the world”, and away she jumps.
    Donald Trump looks at the 10 year old girl and says “I’m 76 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you...you take the last one”
    The 10 year old girl says, “No we still have 2 parachutes, Hilary Clinton took my backpack”
  10. Fishtigua, Apr 11, 2020
    #410
    Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    Managed to get a mask from an old sea dog.

    [​IMG]
  11. Boatbuilder, Mar 26, 2021
    #411
    Boatbuilder

    Boatbuilder Member

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    The wife and I decided to splurge and go out to a fancy restaurant. After we were seated, for some reason the waiter took my order first.

    “I think I will have the filet, medium rare” I said.

    The waiter replied, “Aren’t you worried about the Mad Cow?”

    “No, she can order anything she wants”

    ...and that’s when the fight started.
  12. YachtForums, Jun 9, 2021
    #412
    YachtForums

    YachtForums Administrator

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    A new weather map has been issued by the NOAA...

    Attached Files:

  13. Norseman, Jul 7, 2021
    #413
    Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    Kevin likes this.
  14. Rodger, Jul 31, 2021
    #414
    Rodger

    Rodger Senior Member

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    Apparently the brakes are working good on the truck. Truck.PNG
  15. Fishtigua, Aug 25, 2021
    #415
    Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    I was sorry to hear on Fox News that a man was run over by a boat in Venice.
    My gondolences are with his family.
  16. HTMO9, Aug 26, 2021
    #416
    HTMO9

    HTMO9 Senior Member

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  17. Norseman, Jan 18, 2023
    #417
    Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    066BE7E4-5DA6-441F-92BA-9F9C87F501AA.jpeg
    leeky and chesapeake46 like this.
  18. Norseman, Apr 2, 2023
    #418
    Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    This... IMG_6212.jpeg
    chesapeake46, Capt Ralph and Fishtigua like this.
  19. Norseman, Apr 7, 2023
    #419
    Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    Helga was hang the wash out to dry, and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.

    ''Gootness, iss hot,'' she mused to herself as the sun beat down on her. She passed by a tavern and said, ''Vy nought?'' So she walked into the air conditioning and took a seat at the bar.

    "Bartender," she said. "I vill have unt cold beer, please.''

    The bartender asked, ''Anheuser Busch?''

    ''Vell, fine, tanks," she said, "Just unt leetle svetty.''
    Spike62, Fishtigua, leeky and 1 other person like this.
  20. Norseman, Sep 22, 2023
    #420
    Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    This one is for Judy:

    IMG_6839.jpeg
    Spike62, ArcanisX, unsinker and 2 others like this.
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