Boat Jokes...

It's been over a year since this thread has created chuckles, so here goes:

Q: Why are seagulls called seagulls?
A: Because they fly over the sea. If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

After all the toilet paper has been hoarded, I've been reduced to using a Lettuce leaf in an emergency.

I feel this is just the tip of the Iceberg.

A friend on a German yacht tells me everyone is panic buying sausages and cheese.
They’re looking at a Wurst Käse scenario.

Now you got me going.

Dr. Fauci, the Pope, Hilary Clinton, Donald Trump, and a 10 year old girl were the only passengers on a plane. The captain announces the plane is going down, and they must parachute out.
Now there are only 4 parachutes for the 5 passengers. Dr. Fauci says “I must jump, I need to find a cure for Covid-19”, and out he goes.
The Pope says “I must be there to comfort the people in this crisis”, and out he goes.
Hilary Clinton says “I’m the smartest woman in the world”, and away she jumps.
Donald Trump looks at the 10 year old girl and says “I’m 76 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you...you take the last one”
The 10 year old girl says, “No we still have 2 parachutes, Hilary Clinton took my backpack”

Managed to get a mask from an old sea dog.

The wife and I decided to splurge and go out to a fancy restaurant. After we were seated, for some reason the waiter took my order first.

“I think I will have the filet, medium rare” I said.

The waiter replied, “Aren’t you worried about the Mad Cow?”

“No, she can order anything she wants”

...and that’s when the fight started.

Apparently the brakes are working good on the truck.

I was sorry to hear on Fox News that a man was run over by a boat in Venice.
My gondolences are with his family.

This...

Helga was hang the wash out to dry, and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.

''Gootness, iss hot,'' she mused to herself as the sun beat down on her. She passed by a tavern and said, ''Vy nought?'' So she walked into the air conditioning and took a seat at the bar.

"Bartender," she said. "I vill have unt cold beer, please.''

The bartender asked, ''Anheuser Busch?''

''Vell, fine, tanks," she said, "Just unt leetle svetty.''

This one is for Judy: