Funny boat stories

Dave, it's going to awfully tough to top a story involving boats, strippers, adult beverages, and a near-sinking.

That was probably Cape Ann Towing back then.
Not quite as good, but... I used to have a little deck boat that I used for tours there called Romance Cruises. One night a guy decided he was going to pop the question and planned a romantic cruise up the intracoastal to Yesterdays for a nice dinner. They arrived at the dock, he in fancy duds and she in a skin tight micro mini, only to find low tide and 5 steps down a ladder to my boat. I had to carry her down the ladder. By the time we got to Yesterdays I was better aquainted with his fiance then he was.
Then there was Betty Boop. Anybody remember her? She paid a bundle for her ***** and made sure everybody in Ft. Lauderdale got to admire them. At 10AM on a Sunday morning I was about to take out a boatload of people in their 80's when Betty cruised bow first into the slip next to mine with Betty on the bow in all her glory like a figurehead. One old guy almost dropped his teeth. Then his wife gave him an elbow to the ribs that I thought would land him in the hospital.
Finally, there was the time my wife took a couple out and as she's giving the tour she looks at the husband and he doesn't look right. So she asks the wife "Is he breathing?" She looks at him totally unconcerned and says "Oh he does that from time to time". She got him breathing, but I think the guy might want to reduce his life insurance coverage.

I concur

I can't believe I'm telling this story...

Back in 2003, we kept the Broward behind a lady's house on Seven Isles & Barcelona, off Las Olas. (Dave, you remember the location, where we left the Whaler for you to meet us at the Air & Sea Show flotilla).

This was a unique location,where 3 houses were located on a gated peninsula, with a canal in back of the houses, as well as in front. We were docked in front along a stretch of dock nearly 100 feet long. The adjoining house also had a 100' long dock and the two docks nearly connected, accept for a 6' section.

For years, my brother & I speculated that one day someone was going to walk down the dock and fail to notice the two docks are not connected, taking an unexpected plunge.

We had just returned from a cruise one eve when my phone rang and I took a walk along the dock. My brother was walking a few feet away from me and I noticed he was about to step on a bundle of palms that were covering a hole in the ground, where the seawall needed backfill. As I spoke-up to alert him (still talking on the phone)... I walked right off the dock. The funny thing is... I heard him laugh BEFORE I hit the water.

OK, it's not a funny boat story. It's a dock-walking story. And it's what a lot of people have wanted me to do for a very long time. Take a long walk on a short dock.

Nice brother (although I must admit that I'd do the same to mine given the opportunity. Who could resist?)

This is boating related and one of the funniest things I've experienced, though some would say it's in poor taste to laugh at another person's misfortune.....

I'm going to assume you've heard the old saying "There's no such thing as bad news about someone you don't like", well this is a takeoff on that theme.

We were in Coeur d'Alene for my son's wedding, staying at The Coeur d'Alene Resort (http://www.cdaresort.com/), a five star hotel on the shore of beautiful Lake Coeur d'Alene, ID.

The wedding was going to take place on one of the resort's dinner cruise boat which we had chartered for the night. Wedding photos were taken and the wedding party was headed down the dock to the cruise boat. My ex-wife was walking ahead of me as we headed to the boat.

She and I had a particularly nasty divorce (due to some tricks she tried to pull) and this was the first time we'd seen each other since things were finalized.

As she walked ahead of me she tripped and did a face plant on the steel mesh portion of the dock. When she hit, the entire right side of her face was scraped by the steel and that left her bloody and bruised.

It isn't normally my character to make light of someone's misfortune, but I must admit I had a very hard time not laughing inside. I've always felt that "What Goes Around, Comes Around" and that fall couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.

Fortunately it happened after the wedding photos were taken, but personal photos taken during and after the wedding show her in all her glory.

I know there are a lot of divorced guys giving a high 5 to that one, but I'm afraid I find it sad when something that began as love and dedication decends to that. That's still your son's mother. Hopefully it didn't dampen the day for him.

It’s really sad to think that someone can laugh at another human being receiving such a nasty injury to their face. I guess you must really hate her…

Hi,

As we have no idea how the marriage actually dissolved other than the posters own words we can only assume it was not a pleasant experience

I have seen a few cases in my life where the "fire" has gone out or someone else is stoking that fire where things get very ugly and nasty, usually the only real winners are the attorneys who pocket their telephone numbers in fees.

And as they say ..........."Revenge is a sweet dish best eaten cold"

I don´t find it funny when people hurt themselves, but tripping and falling into the sea is always entertaining.

We had two places where docks were not connected, like in Carls´story. One is where the biggest sailing regatta is held and the other where the biggest powerboat race takes place. This leads to the docks being very crowdy during these events and several times a day people making their way through the crowd found themselves falling into the water. I specially remember my friends girlfriend coming dressed and with a makeup like Jayne Mansfield. After we lifted her up, she looked like trash and even she could see the fun in it.

Otherwise, one of the highlights at indoor boatshows is to watch where a cable is running under the carpet, making people trip, without falling but always looking funny...

Jayne Mansfield? Haven't heard her referenced (except in relation to her daughter) in over 40 years. There are a lot of people reading that and scratching their heads. Guess I'm not the only one showing a touch of gray.

Well, this happened almost 40 years ago...

Can you hear a funny knocking noise from down below? I think it's a twin screw.

http://www.superyachtworld.com/auto/newsdesk/20100906151218syw.html

Judge not, lest ye be judged...

Normally I'm not the type of person who finds humor in another's misfortune. In this divorce situation, she tried to get so nasty with dirty tricks that two women she worked with (who, by the way, barely knew me) were calling me on a weekly basis to report the tactics she was planning. In addition, our two sons would have nothing to do with her because of what she was doing and, to this day, do not communicate with her.

There's an old saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." She proved that to be true day in and day out.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled humorous stories.

Huh. Hardly looks funny. I mean, looks all too political to me, "In 1989, Savarona was chartered for 49 years by Turkish businessman Kahraman Sadıkoğlu, who spent about US$25m on a refit that completely modernised the boat." + "The Turkish government has cancelled the 49-year charter contract". More like some Turkish high-end men dealing with each other (with government's interests involved) then a genuine "nautical brothel". They state clients pay $10k per night for women, but what a fair, whoreless daily charter of 400ft piece of history is, five cents?

It could be under that 282 foot gold staircase. This feature intrigues me. Where could this possibly fit?

Scott,

At $10,000 a night, I know where my 'Golden Staircase' is.

Hi,

From the article: Savarona will be turned over to the Ministry of Culture, which has announced plans to turn it into a museum.

What better type of museum than one which provides a working model of one of the worlds oldest professions, visitors could maybe purchase a special ticket to join in a live display.

This is surely a case of these rich guys falling out and greed plain and simple.