Friends think my wife and I are crazy

It won't close the inexperience gap overnight but it will do it much faster if you actually hire the captain to teach you and make you do the work to learn, not to chauffeur you. Also, I'd recommend maritime school. You can learn a lot that then the captain can convert to hands on training for you, but the captain isn't having to work with a total blank slate. Still in two or three years you won't have the experience of a 25 year veteran. But you might actually gain 5-10 years equivalent experience if you work hard and the captain works you hard.

This is what we're doing, although not liveaboard. On our larger boat we will never go without captain and on longer trips we won't. Mainly won't on longer trips because not mechanically skilled or desire to really become so. Yes, we're learning a good bit but not enough in that regard to want to be out alone for months. However, in decent weather we've become very comfortable with day trips. In fact on one today. Captains haven't touched anything although they did come along to visit friends. They didn't even help with lines. And they will give us their observations later of how we did. But earlier in the week we went to Miami without them.

We've learned so much more by having a captain to teach us than we ever could have otherwise. Maritime school also helped jump start us. We don't want to eliminate captains but we do want to become competent at what we do. We want to be skilled operators of our boats. Some things you only get experience by facing though. We got our first really rough conditions not too long ago in the Gulf and what came so easily to the Captain didn't for us. But we were better at the end than the start. We won't always have nice 2 to 4 foot seas and so our first taste of rougher. Still our Captains have been in 20' and more. We have zero experience in such conditions.

Book just finished they were doing it in the extreme on $15,000 a year. But they were anchored by an island and really didn't move around much. Peaceful but boring. Which brings me to a point.

You'll miss some of the old things too. Not the crap but the friends. Still you'll find new friends. You may miss the energy of your worklife too. Yeah "Work" is a four letter word we all dream of getting away from. Maybe if we were older 100% away would have worked. But hubby and I decided maybe a little business and then it became a bit more and you get the point. Point is we like something still going on and have good people to run things so we do still work a little. Maybe like 10% or something but we weren't ready to make the move 100%. It's like he's got some great skills and just had to keep using them some.

So, one question I'd ask is would it be possible for you to reduce your work load to start earlier. Maybe half time with employer and still move on boat. Or consult or who knows. Now you'd have to discipline or you'd still be going full time. But the move toward live aboard could come in stages and you don't have to wait until you're retired completely to make the move. I met one couple where he quit two years before her to get boat all ready. Met another who sold their house so had that taken care of and downsized to apartment plus boat. Then when they made complete retirement, just no more apartment. Sometimes good to start like that early too because selling houses is like a huge unknown right now and getting rid of stuff takes a while. Plus if you're like a novice in this, gives time to learn some.

Also some like to be on a boat and really no home port but others still need some port/marina or something that is home. Our current target is 2/3 or time on water and away and 1/3 home which a lot of that we still get on water.

Guess we just weren't ready for a complete break with land life even as much as we love the water. Now if you have kids and such you can always break up the water part with visits to them. I don't know some people like can give up seeing their land friends and just have their new friends. We're greedy and have to have both. We get out six weeks or two months and we just miss our home friends so we schedule like that.

No, it is not impossible. The reason I recommend taking formal, organized lessons and chartering different types of boats is that it will tell you if the reality matches your dreams and will aid you in making a much MUCH better boat buying decision for you and yours. To me, starting with selecting a boat is completely backwards and very risky. We have met so many unhappy couples who made that mistake and can't think of any who did that and were successful.

Yes, to me it makes sense. Do a bit of chartering, take some courses. See how the actual experience is. When you're comfortable, get a boat and then maybe spend the summer living on it. No one can tell you whether you and y our wife will love it or hate it. I think to the book I just finished and they made it so very clear all they'd given up to live the life they're living now. But to them it wasn't even close. Still others would react much different to giving all that up.

Beyond the boating, one of the most difficult aspects you'll face will be "getting rid of stuff." Boats in this size range leave little room for stuff we don't need.

Newbie, when I switched from sail to power I visited a highly regarded engine rebuilder and asked questions re: product, price and service. I, luckily, never needed his services but it was very informative (and scary!).

Please understand, I gave that as a baseline number with zero knowledge of what the condition of the boat you will buy, and zero knowledge of your standards or ability to do work yourself. My guess is you don't know what your standards are yet because you don't know much, yet, about boats.

The first year with a new-to-you used boat can entail very significant expense, much of it "personalizing" according to what equipment you want on board, and your aesthetic tastes, and what deferred maintenance needs to be addressed. A perfectly seaworthy 50 foot boat can soak up $100,000 and just be getting warmed up for the next 100 grand.

One very good piece of advice I got early on was to cruise the boat for awhile before going hog-wild on modifications and enhancements. The newbie will be besieged with recommendations from other boaters and things they read about what he "needs" to have on his boat, equipment-wise. Some of the worst advice often comes from experienced cruisers, whose style of boating and tastes and what they have merely gotten used to having may well be completely irrelevant to you. I have seen the phenomena many times where it takes ages for the newbie to get their boat ready "just right" , wasting precious time which could have been spent enjoying the water and learning what it is they really need and want.

How do you know they're perfect? How much sea time have you and your wife put it in, and how many nights spent, meals cooked, etc?

Anyway, as for that and the out come of the surveys (one for hull and systems, one for all the engines, done by a specialist), and what your first year or two will look like, all I can say is, "you'll see!".

Have you ever bought a house that later there wasn't something you wish was different? Some things you identify up front and some take time. Some things are obvious and others aren't really important but become annoyances. Ever walked into a room, especially a bath, and for some reason the light switch was behind the door? We didn't notice that on our current house but it turned out to be that way on two guest baths. Since fixed. On the other hand we weren't real fond of the galley and sitting area colors on one of our boats but were prepared to live with it. The longer we've had it the more we started liking the colors. They were simply outside our normal preferences, but certainly ok.

Look, I am not trying to give you (too) hard a time. Ironically many of your "specs" are the same as ours, but so many of these are personal. As an aside, take a look at the Grand Banks 49 "Classics", may not have all the cockpit you want, but good ergonomics, quality, roomy. Not so sure about your approach to engine selection... from "the literature"?.... Volvos instead of Cats..?

Spending consecutive days, or weeks, underway and several nights docked/on a mooring/anchored are invaluable.

I am just trying to pass along personal direct experience and that observed directly from dozens of other cruising live-aboards, people who have accomplished your dream very successfully (and more than a few on 36 foot, even smaller, boats) and those who didn't (some even on nice all the bells and whistles beauties). I'm just trying to improve your odds of being another success.

That's the great value of chartering: it gets you on the water NOW. We started chartering larger boats, such as Grand Banks 49's five years before we bought. 7-10 day vacations and many long weekends. In addition to being a ton of fun and allowing us to cruise very diverse locations east and west, it taught us a lot about what we wanted in terms of ergonomics especially. And most importantly that the boating life was for us. When it came to buying a boat that was going to be both sole residence (not a part time vacation home) and full time, multl- thousand mile cruiser we understood quite well what we were looking for that would fit us. As time has passed, we have come to love our choice more and more, so happy we picked her. Not by any means the ideal boat for everyone, quite the contrary in several ways. But right for us.

We are far, far from Type A super proficient boaters. We nick-name ourselves Mr. and Mrs. Bumble, from the Richard Scarry children's books. Still manage to generate ad-hoc business for the paint and fiberglass guys almost every year. So I am talking to you from the perspective of just everyday folks with limited skills who wanted to go boating and have subsequently loved every minute of it, mixing the bad with the good. The bad and frustrating things and often expensive things are just part of the sport, gotta take it that way to stay sane.

I don't know if they've been discussed in this thread so please excuse me if I'm repeating, but have you looked at Hatteras? I know not as many on the west coast. Just their structural integrity is generally among the better boats you'd find. While generally their MY's started in the 50 foot range and mostly sportsfishing below that, there are a few Cockpit MY's in the time period you're considering as small as 42 feet.